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Boxing Day 10
The sleepy village of Coniston was rudely awakened when a streaking cyclist was spotted pedaling through the village at midday on Boxing Day. The identity of the cyclist has yet to be confirmed but according to the pub landlady, police are looking for a shaven headed man in his early fifties riding a black racing cycle and sporting (in true Santa style) a shriveled sack.
This extra ordinary incident was the main topic of conversation in the Blacksmiths arms following the clubs traditional Fancy Dress time trial. What brought about such an incident is unclear although one theory circulating suggests that the rider was so disgusted at other riders actually racing in said event, that he decided to remove his clothes by way of protest. Whatever the cause it certainly caused quite a stir. Several elderly female villagers were later reported to be roaming the village looking for the village dud. I presume they meant STUD but who knows despite their advancing years they may still have 20/20 vision.
Ironically the event was blessed with overcast but cool weather and very little wind, perfect conditions for those who wished to post a fast time. Numbers where down a little on usual but the quality was still evident with some excellent costumes depicting the famous duos theme. Costumes included Lady Penelope and a transvestite Parker (Johns Galbraith & Lockwood), Ozzy and Kelly Osbourne (N & M Littlejohn), Fred Flinstone and Bam Bam (John Weaden & S Littlejohn), HTRC old and new (Don Wilkinson & Richard Guymer), The Blues Brothers (Mike Kilgour & Greame Lawton) Lone Ranger & Tonto (Neil Cleminshaw & Paul Kilvington)
Roy Irwin had kindly donated a fine selection of prizes that were distributed to those riders in fancy dress after the event by pulling names from a hat
Thanks to Ged and Hazel for stepping into the timekeeper’s role at the last minute when Big G had to rush his daughter to hospital due to an asthma attack
The times (if anyone is interested) were as follows: -
| Name | Time |
| Ozzy and Kelly Osbourne | 51.30 |
Fred Flinstone and Bam Bam |
51.30 |
| HTRC old and new | 36.34 |
| Lady Penelope & Parker (in drag) | 36.21 |
| The Blues Brothers | 36.09 |
| Lone Ranger & Tonto | 26.59 |
As it seems everybody secretly wants to dress in ladies clothes (or more precisely underwear) it was suggested that next years theme is a straightforward drag theme – perhaps held on a drag strip course like the Clive Sullivan way)
Finally if anybody knows of someone trying to sell a slightly used pair of black men’s under crackers (one small skid mark and slightly p*** stained) please let john Lockwood know as a sneak thief is reported to have stolen John’s underwear whilst getting changed after the event.
